The Mean Streets of Amsterdam

September 17, 2008

The broken chair

Chair Bear Bunch

I was cycling the WunderKind to the creche this week when some street rubbish caught my eye. What happended here? It looked like a bar-room fight resulting in a broken chair. Probably one of the Amsterdammertjes caught the full force.

This will Chair you up

I’ve got another similar picture of a broken chess board. Man, these guys can’t take a joke!

Broken Chess Board

"Freeform Chess" - as the Germans would say. We say "Jazz".

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Elandsgracht festival 14 Sept 2008

Elandsgracht festival 14 Sept 2008

I don’t think the japanese invented karaoke. When you see how much fun the Dutch have with watching local crooners singing over backing tapes of old Johnny Jordaan or Andre Hajes songs, and getting drunk, and swaying to the haunting melodies (and joining in wailing with singers), you would have to believe that it’s an invention from the Netherlands.

Last weekend the local bar “Cafe de Jordaan” had it’s annual fest. Stage, beer, singing. No trouble, just some boozed up jolly folks. And for some strange reason many polished up Harleys (and their similarly polished up owners).

Shiny mid-life crisis model Harleys, in the Elandsgracht 14 sept.

Shiny mid-life crisis model Harleys, in the Elandsgracht 14 sept.

On the look out for…

August 1, 2008

    I’m looking for a clock for the office. A Solari Udine Cifra 12.
    60’s vintage would be perfect.

    Or a Solari Dator 5. Preferably 50’s vintage. The one below was sold on ebay for 110Eu. And if they go wrong I have lots of details on how to fix them.

    Solari Dator 5

    Solari Dator 5

    1000 Eclipses

    August 1, 2008

    1000 Eclipses - light going thru the pinholes of the satellite dish

    1000 Eclipses - light going thru the pinholes of the satellite dish - can you see the bite in the sun?

    There! By my thumb! That faint image of the eclipsed sun on a piece of paper.

    There! By my thumb! That faint image of the eclipsed sun on a piece of paper.

    Another 1000 eclipses...

    Another 1000 eclipses...

    1120, 1st August. It’s a solar eclipse today. And it’s never good to peer directly at the sun (although I did have a quick peek throught the clouds). Instead I used my schoolboy improvisation skills to construct a pinhole camera by digging a sharp thing though a piece of card. Then hopped out onto the flat roof to see if I could see the eclipse. And lo, I was able to see an image of the sun with a bite in it – about 20% of the area. A sort of Apple logo in shape.

    Better: I found that the unused satellite dish (which is punctured with many holes) made an excellent pinhole effect. Hence – 1000 (blurry) eclipses. Is there a collective noun for a group of eclipses?

    Other things to notice about an eclipse: colours are slightly washed out and it seems quieter, calmer.

    Back of the house

    Back of the house, during an eclipse

    Amsterdam Signwriting

    July 21, 2008

    Painted signage Rijwelstalling, Da Costa buurt Amsterdam

    Painted signage Rijwelstalling, Da Costa buurt Amsterdam

    I found these two painted signs a few doors away from each other close to where we live. Note the distinct “iJ” form, and the way it’s just painted over a sign underneath. In a modern world of vinyl lettering, it’s rare to see these careful signwriting these days.

    Either they got called away before finishing the phone number, or at the time the exchange was limited to about 100 numbers!

    Painted signage Rijwel & Motor, Da Costa buurt Amsterdam

    Painted signage Rijwel & Motor, Da Costa buurt Amsterdam

    Of course we keep all customer survey comments encrypted and locked in a vault, but this one was laugh out loud funny. It got picked out by one of our clients as abusive. Which of course it is.

    THANK YOU FOR SELLING MY F*CKING EMAIL ADDRESS TO EVERY MOTHER F*CKER IN THE WORLD.  I NEVER GOT JUNK MAIL UNTIL I HAD TO GIVE YOUY MINE.  NOW I GET JUNK MAIL FROM EVERY ASS IN THE WORLD.  YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME BUYING […] FROM YOUR COMPANY AGAIN.  ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU FOR SELLING MY EMAIL ADDRESS YOU GOD DAMN MOTHER F*CKING ASSH*LES.  I HOPE EVERY ONE OF YOU F*CKERS GETS BUSTED UP THE ASS BY A BIG SPARKLING WIGGLE NAMED BUBBA, WITHOUT LUBRICATION TO BOOT.
    As it happens, we are innocent – no selling of any information by us. But seriously, who could think up this “Big Sparkling Wiggle” – unless there is actually a Wiggle named Bubba? And how long did it take to come up without lubrication, to boot?
    Whos Bubba?

    Who's Bubba?

    Mischkatron 2000

    July 14, 2008

    A great product idea from me from 2004; sadly blatantly stolen by that muppet Sandler for that shite movie Click. I’ll never get those 107 minutes back.