Priceless Customer Comment: “Big Sparkling Wiggle”

Of course we keep all customer survey comments encrypted and locked in a vault, but this one was laugh out loud funny. It got picked out by one of our clients as abusive. Which of course it is.

THANK YOU FOR SELLING MY F*CKING EMAIL ADDRESS TO EVERY MOTHER F*CKER IN THE WORLD.  I NEVER GOT JUNK MAIL UNTIL I HAD TO GIVE YOUY MINE.  NOW I GET JUNK MAIL FROM EVERY ASS IN THE WORLD.  YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME BUYING [...] FROM YOUR COMPANY AGAIN.  ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU FOR SELLING MY EMAIL ADDRESS YOU GOD DAMN MOTHER F*CKING ASSH*LES.  I HOPE EVERY ONE OF YOU F*CKERS GETS BUSTED UP THE ASS BY A BIG SPARKLING WIGGLE NAMED BUBBA, WITHOUT LUBRICATION TO BOOT.

As it happens, we are innocent – no selling of any information by us. But seriously, who could think up this “Big Sparkling Wiggle” – unless there is actually a Wiggle named Bubba? And how long did it take to come up without lubrication, to boot?

Who's Bubba?